As a DFH with secularist tendencies, my children have rarely been to church. I realized this yesterday as I dressed them for one of their rare forays there--and not even to what I, with what I recognize as typical Roman Catholic condescension, would consider a "real" church. They don't even have church clothes (necessitating an emergency trip to Target) and they have no idea how to behave there (though luckily there was a nursery and something called "Junior Church" involving puppet shows and crafts). We were only there because the 8YO's favorite cousin was being baptized, which involved a pool and swim trunks and full immersion (the cousin is also 8).
But I got to thinking how regular church was for me as a kid, how soothing it was to think that there was some force in control of the universe and that it acted according to clearly defined laws (even if I didn't know what "adultery" and "false witness" were). I spent twelve years in Catholic school, but that was more about forming a tribal identity than actually studying the faith--though I took religion every day. Still, Catholics don't really read the Bible, so it wasn't as though I were absorbing tons of information.
I retained a residual Catholic identification right up until 2005: the ascension of the worst, most narrow, backwards-assed aspects of my co-religionists was too much for me to take. Benedict is everything I hate about Catholicism, with none of the social justice tempering his nuttiness. My late mother hated Ratzinger with the white hot heat of a thousand suns: thank God she didn't live to see him Pope. My father, a very faithful man who attends Mass daily and belongs to the Catholic Workers, tried to keep me on board by pointing out that Benedict was old and wouldn't last long. Long enough to confirm a successor who shares his worldview, I noted.
Protestantism was right out for me: as James Joyce said, why would I trade a logical absurdity for an illogical absurdity? Catholicism at least has good art and an intellectual tradition; why someone would give it up for PowerPoints and Amy Grant is beyond me.
And so my children have only been in church a few times in their lives. SP is not even baptized. As my brother's minister assured me I was going to hell yesterday (not personally, but I think I was the only "outsider" there, and he specifically addressed that point), I suppose I should be glad they're coming with me.
But I'm still Catholic enough to feel guilty about that.
5 comments:
I never quite came to grips with religion and child rearing. Every time we started attending a meeting that had First Day School I was always made aware that I should be teaching instead of attending meeting since there were so few kids. I thought long and hard about it, but even teaching such a mild religion as fact just seemed wrong. So we would drop out. My kids are woefully ignorant of the Bible. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
ql
We struggled through the same thing, and decided to expose our kids to just enough religion that they could eventually make a decision for themselves. That was the goal anyway.
For a while, I was an atheist teaching Methodist Sunday school. Talk about your conflicts of interest.
BTW, Traditional protestantism isn't about powerpoints and Amy Grant; it's about pot luck suppers and jello salad.
Gromit
I sometimes feel bad that i didn't raise Son in some religion, even Unitarian. When he was in high school, he attended Quaker services for some time, as his father's family a few generations back was Quaker.
But I couldn't inflict Catholicism on him. I just couldn't do it.
There are now Pagan parents who rear their kids as Pagans and take them to Pagan services. I hope that I live long enough to see how this works out.
The Wife's a Chreaster Prod, I an atheist from a Catholic upbringing. We rarely get to church, usually the big holidays (thus Chreaster) or when she's feeling low (midwinter).
Before the birth of our daughter, when we lived nearer her family's small town, The Wife and I went to church a lot more regularly, the compromise I worked out being that I'd go, but instead of listening and paying any attention to the service/sermon, I would read the classic, basic texts of world religions. In July of 2001, I finished the Koran. Talk about getting it in under the wire there in small town Ohio.
Since we've moved to the suburbs of the big city, we pretty much only get to church when we're visiting her folks. Thus, I've been stymied on finishing the Bhagavad Gita for years.
The Littlest Critic has a rudimentary idea about god and Jesus. Noah to her is just a character in a story.
The other day, she repeated to me the idea that when all the people are gone, the dinosaurs will come back.
Seems like she's doing all right.
The Wife goes through spells of missing church, feeling guilty that she's not going to church, but overall she doesn't seem to think much about it.
Me? I don't miss any of church, I'd much rather stay in bed, then get up late and eat a huge ass stack of pancakes.
To all of you: Take heart there are a lot more of us (recovering Catholics) than you realize! Stumbled on this site while trying to better remember Joyce's classic -"why would I trade a logical absurdity for an illogical absurdity?". And why do you suppose it's not among his quotes on the "Famous Quotes" web site?
PFD
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